


just like your father

by thulkwarrior



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Reference to character death, TW: Drugs, it's really sad, mention of abusive father, self hatred, someone on tumblr asked for pure angst so that's what i did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-07-10 19:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15955526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thulkwarrior/pseuds/thulkwarrior
Summary: requests:47 - “i hate you! i’m sorry it took me so damn long to realise that!”51 - “calm down! you’re scaring me!”62 - “pack your shit and go. get the fuck out of my sight!”WARNING: i have had feedback that this is a little intense so please do not read if you're overly sensitive to aggression or anger - be safe :)





	1. Chapter 1

“bruce, honey? are you okay?”

thor poked his head around the door, slowly pushing it open, balancing a tray of tea and sandwiches. he got no reply in return, as usual.

thor’s nose wrinkled at the smell of the room, the smell of sweat and old coffee causing his head to swim, and his nostrils to tickle.

he slowly pushed the door open, and entered the dim, dark room.

thor placed the tray down, next to another one that held bruce’s breakfast, untouched. thor frowned and moved to open the curtains and the window to let some light and air in.

“you should eat, darling” thor said, attempting to hide the concern and annoyance in his voice.

he looked at bruce, after receiving no answer again, to see him hunched over his desk, scribbling down frantically.

“i thought we could eat lunch together today” thor tried again.

bruce’s hand stopped, and his shoulders slumped, sighing. he turned around to thor, a strained smile on his face. thor’s heart sunk at bruce’s appearance. his eyes were red and swollen, purple painted underneath. his skin was becoming an ashy white, practically translucent, and his curls were greasy and untamed atop his head.

“okay” bruce said, his voice weak and rough, before getting up to join thor on the love seat. bruce slouched down next to thor, leaving as much space between them as possible. thor’s heart clenched at the distance, but he forced a smile anyway, handing bruce a plate. he took note of how skinny bruce’s wrists had become.

they began to eat in silence. well, thor began to eat, bruce began pick at the crusts on the bread.

“honey, please-”

“i still feel sick” bruce interjected, placing his plate down.

thor furrowed his brows, “it’s been three days. you have to eat something”.

bruce avoided thor’s gaze, and fiddled with a loose string on his shirt. “i just don’t feel well, stop pushing it”

thor bit his tongue, “bruce, i’ve been very patient with you. but i cannot just watch you destroy yourself”

bruce huffed and got back up, sitting at his desk again, “i don’t need to be babied, you know?” bruce turned his back to thor again.

“well clearly you do. when was the last time you showered? drank some water? changed your clothes?” thor knew it would do no good to start an argument with bruce, but he could feel the frustration overwhelming him.

bruce scoffed, and began writing again. thor was not going to be ignored this time, he couldn’t just stand aside and watch bruce neglect himself. thor walked over to bruce’s chair and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“don’t touch me, thor” bruce said, cold, shrugging his shoulder.

“bruce…” thor’s voice was filled with hurt, his hand dropping limply to the side.

“bruce, baby, please” thor pleaded, he at least wanted bruce to have a conversation with him, if he didn’t want them to touch then so be it, but he just needed them to speak. it had been months of one-sided conversations, cold shoulders and silences.

“i just want to be left alone” bruce whispered.

thor’s shoulders fell, and his lip quivered slightly. well, it was worth a try. he would get through to bruce eventually, he just knew it.

“okay, i’ll come back again later. please eat something, i love you” thor waited a second before hearing a tiny, “i love you”, whispered from bruce’s hunched form. thor turned to leave, until something sat on bruce’s desk caught his eye.

thor felt his body fill with rage, confusion and concern as he spotted a small syringe with a needle attached to the end.

“what the hell is that” thor’s voice dropped, cold and dangerous.

bruce’s eyes darted to thor’s. before following his eye line to the small needle and tourniquet.

bruce’s eyes widened, “thor, let me explain”

thor grabbed bruce’s arm and pulled up the sleeve, revealing multiple small scars over the veins of the inside of his arm.

“hey! i said don’t touch me, asshole!” bruce pulled his arm.

thor let his arm go, but looked at bruce with fury.

“i agreed to let you dedicate your time to research, to experiments and tests. but since when did you start injecting shit into your body without telling me” thor growled, betrayal deep in his voice.

bruce’s previously dead eyes began to light up with desperation and hysteria, “no, thor listen. this could be it. this could be the thing to finally combine hulk’s strength and my intelligence” bruce brought a finger up to his forehead, “don’t you see? thor? i wouldn’t have to rely on hulk to save people. i could be the one to help people”

thor’s eyes flared, “no! i did not agree to this bruce!”

the deranged smile on bruce’s face dropped, and he stood up, looking up into thor’s eyes.

“i didn’t realise i needed your fucking permission” bruce stepped closer, his voice low.

thor’s stomach churned, he had been dealing with a closed off, unresponsive bruce for months. but this was different. thor could see some kind of crazed obsession in his eyes, well, that and pure rage.

“if i remember correctly” bruce started, looking thor directly in the eyes.

“you are not the one who had to watch her die. you are not the one who has watched your loved ones be killed because you were so fucking weak. i had to watch natasha die in front of me because without the hulk i am fucking worthless!” spit sprayed thor’s face as bruce screamed.

“so forgive me, your highness, if i don’t ask for your fucking blessing when i try to give my life some purpose”

thor’s breath was trapped in his chest, and he could hear his heart in his ears. he knew bruce blamed himself for natasha’s death, he didn’t know it had driven him back into that hole of self-hatred.

“bruce…”

“no!” bruce’s hands went to his hair, “no you do not get to sit there and tell me it’s ‘not my fault’, that i’m ‘just as important as the hulk’. because they’re lies! you’re a liar thor” bruce pushed against thor’s chest.

rather than the meek blow thor expected from bruce’s now skinny, malnourished form, he felt the air be knocked out of him as he stumbled backwards.

“i hate liars. it was liars like you that allowed my dad to get away with killing my mother, liars like me…”

bruce’s eyes began to glow green, and his veins ran with the same poisoned colour, but instead of transforming into hulk, he remained as banner, except he wasn’t. he was growling, pure rage in his eyes, directed right at thor. oh god, what had he done to himself?

thor took slow steps back, raising his hands, “bruce, calm down! you’re scaring me!”

“y'know what thor? i lied. i don’t love you. i hate you! i’m sorry it took me so damn long to realize that” bruce spat, but the voice didn’t belong to him. it was deep, demonic, it wasn’t hulk’s voice either. it made thor’s skin crawl and his breath catch in his throat.

“bruce, i beg you, calm down-” thor pleaded.

“get out!”

“i won’t leave you”

bruce picked up one of the tea cups and threw it at thor, it skimmed his head and smashed on the wall behind him, “pack your shit and go. get the fuck out of my sight!”.

thor ran out the room as fast as he could, and slammed the door behind him. he cringed when he heard more smashing and growling. the tears that had been building up overflowed onto his cheeks, and panic gripped his chest. he didn’t know what the fuck bruce had done to himself but thor knew he needed help. now.

through the door, thor heard bruce muttering to himself. he couldn’t hear what he was saying at first over his heart beating in his ears, but when he finally made it out, he knew he had fucking lost his bruce forever.

because on the other side of the door, bruce was repeating the same phrase: “just like your father”.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo this is a really long time coming, don't ask why it took so long for a sequel because i really have no decent explanation lmao whoops. anyway i'm unsure on how much i like this, but either way i hope you all are at least somewhat satisfied!

raindrops drummed like a mallet on thor's skull and slipped down the back of his shirt, chilling him to the bone.   
despite the shivers ripping throughout his body, thor's arms stayed stubbornly at his side as his eyes bored into the door of stark tower.  
the images of bruce's green eyes, and frail, thin frame; the scars on his grey skin beckoned thor's arm to twitch towards the doorbell, but he found it fell to the side once again.   
"fuck!" thor yelled, turning his back to the door and letting his hands clamp into fists.   
he felt anger and shame bubble in his chest and he grinded his teeth. he had left bruce alone in that flat, in that state. his bruce.   
no. not his bruce. it wasn't hulk either. god, thor didn't know who he left in that room but all he knows is he needs to get bruce back. get hulk back.   
it was down to him yet he was stood there in the rain feeling sorry for himself. pathetic. what kind of husband, and what kind of king was he if he couldn't put someone else first just for once in his life, what kind of-   
"thor?"   
thor's eyes snapped open and his head twisted behind him at the sound of a gentle voice behind him.   
"oh, ms potts!" thor plastered a smile on his face, but a wobble was still in his lip, "i'm sorry i didn't hear the door open."   
pepper smiled politely, and thor felt somewhat warmer. her smile was friendly and her lazy lounge clothes were so inviting that thor felt compelled to collapse into her arms and cry. cry, and cry.   
"well come on in, you'll catch your death out there. and call me pepper." pepper's kind voice caused tears to brim at thor's eyes.   
he sniffled and slowly made his way indoors, "thank you, pepper."   
thor sighed as warmth engulfed him the second he stepped inside.   
"i'll get you a change of clothes, tony is upstairs." pepper smiled, turning around when thor's hand reached out to stop her.   
"no no, that's really not necessary. i'm fine you don't have to do anything for me." thor insisted.   
pepper's eyes dropped to the hand thor had used to stop her, she picked it up off her arm and rubbed her thumb over thor's knuckles.   
"don't be silly, i'm not going to let you walk around soaked half to the bone." her tone left no room for argument, so thor didn't try. he just smiled gratefully before she dropped his hand and started walking away, "i'll just be a minute, and thor?" she briefly stopped to turn her head and look at thor, "he's going to be okay. speak to tony."   
thor nodded and she smiled, before walking off.   
he swallowed hard and let his eyes flick around the building. everything was so clean and white, he started to become painfully aware of the mess he was making, standing there in dripping wet clothing.   
his eyes dropped to the floor and noticed the puddle that had formed at his feet.   
thor felt his chest tighten as he looked at the muddy water drip onto the pristine white floor, his breathing became constricted, "shit." he whispered.   
"shit shit shit" thor fished in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled hanky.   
he dropped to his knees and started dabbing at the mess on the floor. he blinked tears out of his eyes as the fabric soaked through and spread the mud further across the floor.   
"pointbreak?"   
thor's head shot up to the sight of tony, tears slipping down his cheek, "i'm sorry, i dirtied your floor."  
tony shook his head in disbelief, thor looked like he didn't have a friend in the world and he was worried about the mess he made on the floor? "it's okay."   
thor sniffled and slowly raised from the ground, "it was- it was so clean,,,, i didn't mean- i didn't want- it's my fault."   
tony furrowed his brows and took a slow step towards thor, "thor really it's just-"   
"no it's my fault!"   
...  
tony took a step back as thor's voice echoed around the room.   
"i'm... i'm sorry, i-" thor wiped the tears away with the back of his hand, "bruce needs- i need your help."   
tony swallowed and nodded, "i think you should come up to the lab with me."   
\-------------------------  
thor pulled the thick, warm coat that pepper kindly gave him around him as he stepped out into the cold. he turned to the two hosts standing in the door and smiled nervously,   
"thank you," he said to both tony and pepper "your help and hospitality is more than i could ever deserve."   
thor leaned in to give pepper a hug, who placed a kiss on his cheek.   
"good luck, thor." she said.   
he nodded and smiled.   
"i'll be in in a moment, honey." tony said quietly to pepper, she gently rubbed tony's shoulder before going back inside.   
tony turned back to thor and knitted his brows together. they looked at each other for a moment, before coming together into a tight hug.   
"he's gonna be okay, buddy. i know it, he will. it's bruce." tony mumbled into thor's shoulder.  
thor breathed heavily as he felt tears well up in his eyes again, "i know, i know."   
tony pulled back and held thor's face in his hands, "if you... when you get him back. when he's okay- tell him i miss him. we all do. we all love him. make sure he knows that."   
"okay." thor said.   
"make sure he knows it." tony repeated, pulling his hands from thor's neck and stepping back.   
thor pulled his hood up and nodded to tony before turning back into the rain.   
as he walked he nervously fondled the small jar in his pocket that contained a thick purple liquid. it was just supposed to cleanse bruce's system of whatever he had been injecting in there, but getting bruce to take the liquid was another matter.   
tony has offered thor a tranquilliser but he turned it down. bruce had to take it willingly. thor couldn't force him, he wouldn't force him.   
while he made his way back to the flat thor tried to alleviate the thoughts of bruce, angry and manic plaguing his mind by remembering every good memory he had with bruce.   
their first kiss, when they were on the asgardian rescue ship home. they were sat in front of one of the huge windows, talking while everyone else was asleep. thor had realised while flying past a supernova that bruce was still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and he couldn't help it. he had to kiss him. bruce of course froze and went bright red, before he processed what happened and grabbed thor's face to kiss him again.   
he remembered the first time they made love. the sounds bruce made, the way his face scrunched in pleasure and how he basked in the afterglow with ruffled hair and a lazy smirk.   
he remembered their wedding day. god, that was the happiest day of thor's life. bruce looked... well, he was breathtaking. literally. thor swears he stopped breathing when he saw him at the other end of the isle. he knew he was supposed to walk down the isle slowly as music played but thor couldn't stop himself from running towards bruce the second he layed eyes on him.   
hot tears mixed in with the icy droplets slipping down thor's cheeks as he pictured in his head how radiant and otherworldly bruce looked that day. his chest swelled with love on that day, now it just felt.... empty.   
thor felt is breath catch in his throat as he looked up and noticed that he had arrived at the flat.   
he looked up and squinted in the rain to their floor and noticed the light was switched off despite the pitch black sky. and awful ball of anxiety i formed in thor's stomach at the possibility that bruce wasn't in the flat, that he was out on his own.   
"shit." thor whispered, running up the flat. thoughts raced through his head of bruce getting hurt, or hurting himself out there. he should have stayed with him. god he left him there on his own because he was scared. and now bruce was gone, now-.   
his thoughts halted as he got to the door to their room.   
thor stared at the wooden door as he caught his breath, leaning against the adjacent wall, the wooden door stirring fear in his chest that suffocated him, closed off his throat.   
thor took in deep breathes, trying to silence the sound of blood rushing in his ears so he could press himself against the door and listen.   
he held his breath and concentrated on the silence on the other side of the door. he listened for any movement, any voice, anything....   
he started to blink tears out of his eyes as the silence stretched on, he couldn't hear anything.   
he sighed and moved to step away when he heard a soft whimper coming from inside. thor presser himself back against the door, quiet sobs and sniffles could be heard from the other side.   
thor swallowed the lump in his throat and wiped his cheeks, "bruce?" he said through the door.   
the whimpering stopped and it went silent again.   
"honey i- bruce it's me." thor tried, again.   
thor's heart drummed in his chest as he pressed his ear closer to the door but still couldn't hear anything, until the sound of bruce's tired voice barely sounded through the door.   
"don't come in."   
thor barely recognised the gravely voice coming from the room.   
he reached for the handle and shook, only to curse when he found it locked.   
"no, i mean it! don't come in! i'll... i'm gonna hurt you."   
thor furrowed his brows and leaned his forehead against the door, "oh, bruce..." he whispered, "you'd never hurt me."   
bruce keened as he suppressed a sob, "no no, i can't- i can't control it, i'm so... it's so painful. thor, it's so fucking painful."   
thor's chest clenched and he rattled the door handle again, more aggressive, "honey you need to let me in-"   
"i want it to stop. thor..." bruce's breathing picked up into heavy pants.   
"i'll make it stop, baby. i'll make it stop. let me in." thor eyed the lock on the door and considered just breaking it off, he was perfectly capable, and the pained wailing coming from inside beckoned his fist closer, but he pulled back, he knew if he spooked bruce then he would run, and he didn't know if he was gonna get him back if that happened.   
"bruce, i want you to listen to me. you're not going to hurt me. you'd never let anything happen to me. i know that. i'm going to make you feel better."   
thor listened, he could hear bruce's sniffling and whimpering.  
"c'mon, love. you don't have to do this alone. i'm here, and i'm not losing you. i'm sorry that i left but i'm back now. i have something that will help you, and i know no amount of medicin can take away the pain of what happened to natasha, i know that. but you don't have to suffer that alone, i'm with you. in sickness and in health, remember?"   
still no reply.   
"god i love you so much, bruce. we all do, tony, pepper, clint; everyone. and i know that nat would want you to be happy, bruce. she'd want you to be so happy."   
suddenly the sound of the lock clicking caused thor to freeze, he stepped back as the door was pushed open slightly.   
thor took that as an invitation to go inside, and so he slowly pushed the door open completely and stepped inside.   
broken glass crunched under thor's feet as he took in the state of the apartment. everything was either smashed or laying on the floor. the wallpaper was torn and furniture lay upside down, save for the couch in the middle of the living room, the couch which seated bruce, shaking like a leaf.   
"bruce." thor whispered, running over and kneeling in front of the sofa.   
bruce lifted his head slowly from his knees and revealed to thor his extremely puffy, extremely tear stained face.   
"i'm sorry- i... i smashed some things and,,, i'm... im- thor please... im sorry just please help me."   
thor's lip quivered as tears spilled onto his face, he pulled out the vile from his pocket and presented it to bruce, "tony made this, he said it would cleanse your system."   
bruce stared at it but made no attempt to grab it.   
"it feels like i'm burning thor, like i'm burning from the inside out." bruce whined, frowning at the vile.   
"that's why you need to take this, it will make it go away."   
bruce's muscles tensed, and his veins ran green as if he were hit by another wave of fire.   
he groaned loudly in pain,"bruce take this, take it now."   
"i can't!"   
thor's brows furrowed, "what do you mean you can't? bruce this will make it go away!"   
panic arose in thor's chest as bruce struggled to breath through the pain.  
"natasha didn't get the chance." bruce wheezed, clutching the sofa with white knuckles. he didn't- couldn't elaborate but thor understood. natasha didn't get to survive so why should he.   
"bruce you listen to me. that was not your fault. you did everything you could and you know tha-" thor was interrupted by another yelp of pain.   
"bruce please just take this, cmon i can't lose you, please. i love you so much."   
bruce grabbed thor's arm painfully as his eyes burned neon green.   
"okay! okay give it to me- ah!" bruce snatched the vile out of thor's hand and downed it all in one go. he coughed violently at the taste and toppled forward. thor caught him in his arms and lifted himself up to sit so bruce could lean onto his chest.   
he felt bruce's muscles slowly relax in his grip, and his sounds of agony eventually reduced to sobbing.   
"im so sorry thor." bruce whined through the sobs wracking his body, "i'm so so sorry."   
thor shushed him and pulled him tight into his chest, "don't you dare apologise for anything."   
he pulled them both back so they were laying down, "go to sleep my love, i'm here now. i'm never leaving you again, i promise."   
bruce nodded, and clung to thor like he could lose him any second, thor held his quivering frame tightly as he cried himself to sleep, whispering constant reassurances. that he loved him, that he wasn't alone, and that he deserved nothing but happiness.   
yes, bruce needed serious help, but for now; thor decided, being back together was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always follow me on tumblr @thulkwarrior and constructive criticism is appreciated! :)

**Author's Note:**

> if you guys want a sequel with a happy ending then just scream at me on my tumblr: thulkwarrior  
> i do loads of thorbruce writing on there!  
> also follow my twitter if you want: @hulksbxnner


End file.
